Finding Family

Some people dream about having a large house.  Some about having a specific job.  Others for material things.  My dream since I can remember was to find my family.  No, I am not adopted and no, I am not out of touch with my parents or siblings.  When I say I have always wanted to find my family- I mean my mothers family.  My mom was born in a little village in Greece 30 minutes east of Sparti named Geraki.  My mom was adopted to the United States when she was roughly ten years old.  (I say roughly because my mother, and everyone whom we met, has a different memory of the exact events that occurred on this tragic and life altering occasion.)   

I will not go into detail of everything but I will explain a little bit before I continue with how I came to find my family.  Like I have stated, the 'exact' story of everything including what really happened to her father is unclear, but this is what I know- to the best of my knowledge based on the stories I have heard from multiple sources.

My mother was one of five children.  When she was approximately seven years old, her father passed away due to brain issues.  Some say he had cancer- a tumor, some say he was bleeding and could not clot, others say he fell off a horse and hit his head. Either way, he had an injury to the brain and could not recover.

My grandmother had just given birth to my aunt Julie who was not more than a few months old when my grandfather passed away.  Having five children and debt to pay for hospital and doctors fees, she was in a awful situation that no mother would ever want to be in.  After a few months of trying to make ends meet by working whatever jobs she could, and trying to keep her children fed, she was looking at a long life of hardship for her children.  

My grandmother was approached by her priest and told her that there was a famous sculptor- Avard Fairbanks who was doing work in Sparti (Sparta) and he and his wife (Maude) were looking to adopt a daughter.  They were parents to 8 boys who had all grown and moved away from home, they wanted to have a daughter.   My aunt Georgia was only 4 or 5 years old at this time and was at the perfect age for this couple according to their priest.  After much thought, my grandmother brought my aunt to the local church for this couple to see.  She was placed in a room with a few other girls who were also looking to be adopted and my grandmother (Maude) chose her.  She took one look at my aunt Georgia and knew she was the child she was going to raise.  After telling the priest who they wanted, he stated that Georgia had an older sister that needed a home too and my grandmother told him to bring her in.  My mom was brought into the room and my grandmother (Maude) knew she 'needed' both children.
My grandmother lost two children that day- not immediately but whatever time was left was never going to be long enough.

Georgia went to the United States first.  No one is sure why there was so much time in between the adoptions but my mother did not go to the states for 10 months to a little over a year after Georgia.  My aunt Julie was also adopted to someone in Utah who heard about my mothers family situation and wanted to help.  Julie was brought to the states before she was one year old.

My grandmother had to watch her youngest three children (one of who was TEN years old) leave her arms and never return.  Knowing that she was never going to hear or see them again just so they would not starve or be sold for money is something I know would ruin me for life.  As a mother with a ten year old, it is something I have thought about often- not about giving up my child but how my grandmother must have felt and lived with herself after kissing her children for the last time, waving good-bye and watching them leave from her presence for the last time.  She had done the best she could for them and their future but really did not ever know if she made the right choice.  My mothers older brother Michael and sister Koula stayed with my grandmother, were pulled out of school and went to work in the fields to provide for themselves.

Once my mother finally arrived to the states (sometime after the 3rd grade) she felt alone.  My aunt Georgia was there with her, but she was already speaking English so well that she would not speak to my mom in Greek.  My mom was so sad and depressed that her mother Maude could not help but notice.  She was such a wonderful lady that she allowed my mother to begin writing her mother in Greece- even though the courts stated that this was a closed adoption.  My mother and her biological mother were pen pals for almost 8 years until my grandmother, Aunt Koula and Uncle Michael moved to Australia to begin a new life and start over.

Years later- they were all reunited!!  My mother had the opportunity to have my grandmother visit and through a translator, they talked about the adoption, the depression to follow, the worry, and the heartache that was felt by both of them.  After talking with one another, they both knew that the choice my grandmother made was the best for everyone.  Although they never got the years back that they missed growing up together, they were able to build a relationship again and learn more about one another before my grandmother passed away.

My mother, her two sisters Georgia and Julie and their two siblings in Australia have a relationship with one another again, they have talked about the events after their life together and try to visit one another as often as they can.  It is amazing that after this horrific tradgity occurred causing all of their lives to change forever; the biological siblings did not let being raised in three separate families keep them apart.

As a mother, my heart aches for my grandmother.  Although she passed away when I was a young girl, just thinking of her situation and her love for her children, she did the most selfless act I think anyone could do.  She chose to give her children the best life they could receive even if this meant she would never see or speak with them again after raising them for 5 and 9 years and just giving birth to another one!!    

With all of that said- my dream was to go visit Geraki, see where my mother was from, and meet the family members they all left behind.  TODAY my dreams came true!!  I found my family.  I went to the house my mother was born in.  I went to her school.  I went to the church she was baptized in, christened in, attended weekly and finally adopted out of.  I walked the same streets she did daily.  I picked almonds from the tree in her front yard.  I sat and listened to cousins, friends, and village members talk about how THIS one event changed the villagers lives forever.  I have so many emotions about today- so much love, admiration for BOTH of my grandmothers, joy, gratitude, and happiness it is hard to contain myself.

Thank you so much Steve for taking me to Greece and making my dreams come true.  I love you so much.  And a very special thanks to my aunt Koula for putting us in touch with my mothers cousin Atha who was in Greece on vacation.  Atha took two days off to show us around, introduce us to everyone and translate everything.

Pictures to come in the post to follow.